Sleep Training Fail

So my first attempt to use some of the “sleep consolidation” tips from the twins book I’ve been reading was an epic FAIL! For naps, I tried putting the girls down “drowsy, but awake,” to which the girls responded, “BWAHAHAHA.” Total waste of time since I ended up having to re-insert their pacifiers back and/or pick them up every five seconds. Training them to nap at the same time was a total disaster as well…instead of taking several longer naps during the day, the girls woke up every 45 minutes and were very unhappy as they weren’t getting quality sleep. “We are NOT CIRCUS ANIMALS,” said the girls. “WE CAN’T BE TRAINED.”


SHHHHH! She’s listening to us. Act cool. 

Ok, so remember the plan. Don’t sleep at ALL costs. 

Also, if you do fall asleep, make sure it’s not at the same time as me. MAXIMUM CHAOS. 

Since the girls hardly slept all day, I figured Phase Two of Operation Scheduled Sleep Time, which was supposed to include an earlier bed time, would go better. We bathed the girls around 6 p.m., which was a success judging by the fact that Amelia did not dissolve into her usual scream fest.
Pre-bath giggles. 
Let’s get this party started.

At this point, I was pretty optimistic that the girls would go right to sleep after a little rocking and story/song time. I was practically salivating envisioning having the rest of the evening to eat dinner, chat, read, organize my closet, etc., in peace.  “I DARE you to try and train us!” said the girls as they smirked evilly at us with half-open eyes for the next four hours. 


GO AWAY! AND TAKE THAT IPHONE WITH YOU.

                                But sis, I’m TIRED! I don’t want to follow the plan anymore!

After initially conking out, the girls were in and out of sleep until 10 p.m. the first night we tried the new schedule and until 11 p.m. the second night. As soon as we thought the girls HAD to be deep asleep, we’d put them down and their eyes would pop open…sometimes immediately, other times five to twenty minutes later. It was like that game I used to play as a kid, “Don’t Wake Daddy…” you never knew when the plastic daddy would shoot up out of the bed, scaring the crap out of everyone. 


Staring contest? Challenge accepted. 
Not only did Jake and I NOT get to eat dinner together as envisioned, I was so starving, that I finally resorted to trying a vienna sausage sandwich Jake had fashioned for himself in hungry desperation…let’s just say I will never be the same. EWWWW. 
Still optimistic that the “sleep consolidation” would yield some positive results, I figured it would only be fair that the girls sleep until morning since they had stayed up so late. HA. HA. Despite finally falling asleep 3-4 hours later than normal, they still woke up at 2:30 a.m. per usual and then arose an hour earlier than normal at 5 a.m.  Same story the second day. GRRRRR. 
Ok, sis, it’s Day 2 and I think she’s breaking down. One more day of not sleeping and she’ll give up. 
Spitting out my paci in 5…4…3…

To top it off, the lack of quality sleep on the girls’ part took its toll on me as well. The second night of our schedule being completely blown to smithereens by two giggling babies, my throat started feeling scratchy, my nose suddenly became runny, and this morning I woke up with a migraine. Fortunately, Jake took care of the girls for a few hours in the morning (best husband ever) so I could sleep in, and I felt much better after getting a little uninterrupted rest. I’m still feeling a little under the weather and am really hoping the girls don’t catch whatever I have, although I’m not sure if I’m really sick, or if it’s just from exhaustion. Either way, I plan on throwing away any grand ideas of instituting a schedule this weekend and am taking it easy.

Now that I think about it, why was I complaining about our old schedule? Sure, it was hard to predict nap time during the day, and it took a bit of rocking and soothing at night to put the girls to sleep, but at least they would be totally out once asleep, giving us at least six hours of rest in between  If it ain’t broke, why fix it? I’m sure that’s EXACTLY what the girls wanted me think.

TEE HEE. She has NO IDEA why we’re not sleeping.  

Twins 1 Parents 0.

Lots of love,

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